May 23, 2016

May 16, 2016

Exercise May Cut Risk of 13 Cancers, Study Suggests | Health Care | US News | US News

Moderate and vigorous activity includes brisk walking, tennis, jogging, swimming

But, it dramatically increases your chance of developing the deadly "exercise cancer"!

Raising the Dead

May 10, 2016

The illustrated obituary

Why isn't there such a thing as an illustrated obituary? 

May 6, 2016

Phone sketch

Sent via the Samsung GALAXY S® 5, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

Sent via the Samsung GALAXY S® 5, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

No joking matter: 1940s political cartoons warned US of Holocaust

No joking matter: 1940s political cartoons warned US of Holocaust

Sent via the Samsung GALAXY S® 5, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

May 5, 2016

While getting ready for bed:

Daddy, we can go pee outside when we get done with our nap. 

Is my favorite cat going to die?

George: Daddy, did all the cats die? 
Me: Our cats? 
George: Yeah. There was another one? 
Me: Yeah
George: Is my favorite cat going to die? 
Me: which one is your favorite? The fat one or the skinny black one? 
George : The skinny black one. Is he going to die? 
Me: Well, the black one is a girl cat. 
George : Where did she go? 
Me: I dunno. She's around here somewhere. 
George : I think she went outside for a little rest. 
Me: Hahahaha. Outside the room or outside the house? 
George : Outside the house. 
Me: You're something else, you know? 

Sent via the Samsung GALAXY S® 5, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

All pets should visit a veterinarian

May 4, 2016


Sugar cubes
Clinking noise
How many salami pieces? 

Sent via the Samsung GALAXY S® 5, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

May 3, 2016

Gap Year

Where I come from, taking a gap year means working at The Gap after graduating high school because you have neither the money nor the motivation to apply for college.


Baby alarm clock
Spilled coffee beans
George reading A a story
Sleeping bag

Sent via the Samsung GALAXY S® 5, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

May 2, 2016

Cocktail Recipe: The Papaw

Also originating in rural Mississippi in the 1970s, this comfort keeper is a perfect precursor for checking trot lines, trips to the package store, and for when the fish fryer needs a good cleaning.

Ingredients in The Papaw
  • Plastic cup from the local catfish restaurant
  • 6 oz. Maalox or equivalent antacid 
  • 3 oz. bourbon or other alcohol 
  • ½ pack of Salem 100s
How to prepare The Papaw
  • Add 3 oz. of bourbon to the plastic cup 
  • Fill with 6 oz. Maalox 
  • Serve with Salem 100s
Successful food pairings
  • Leftover fried frog legs from last night’s hunt 
  • Rag bologna cut away with pocket knife 
  • Cornbread from 2 days back

Cocktail Recipe: The Memaw

This cocktail originated in the 1970s in the American South, more specifically in rural Mississippi. Low income women often used this concoction to pass the time between whipping grandchildren with switches and kitchen table discussions about who in the family is sick and dying.

Ingredients in The Memaw
  • Coffee cup decorated with CB radio slang
  • 3 oz. black coffee
  • 6 oz. Jack Daniels or other bourbon whiskey
  • 1-2 strips of crisp pork bacon
  • Pack of Winston red cigarettes
How to prepare The Memaw
  • Add 3 oz. black coffee to the coffee cup
  • Fill with 6 oz. bourbon
  • Garnish with 1-2 strips of crisp (possibly burned) pork bacon
  • Serve with pack of Winston red cigarettes

April 30, 2016

Before Kids / After Kids

Before Kids : Where should we eat dinner? Something sit down or drive thru? 
After Kids : Where should we eat dinner? The table or the living room?  

Before Kids/After Kids

Before Kids: If I go to the gym every week, I could have six pack abs. 

After Kids: If I drink a six pack a week does that make me an alcoholic? 

April 29, 2016

I wonder if it's gonna rain in Memphis today?

NFL Superfan Not Drafted...Again

It's usually a car or a truck that's a few years old. Sometimes it's a cubicle. Occasionally it's the person him/herself. How painful it must be to carefully create a living shrine to a sports organization that will NEVER (and I mean never) acknowledge the person doing it.

Dear Superfan: Nothing like this will ever happen to you:

"Excuse me, sir. Is that your 2003 Chevy Malibu parked outside? I notice that every inch of it is plastered with Steelers logos. Would you like a job in our team's front office? We need someone to sit in on important meetings about draft picks and which plays to run next Sunday. We need someone who will be available at a moment's notice when the game is on the line. How's $100,000 a year to start? Let's get that done for you, superfan. We appreciate your undying support."

Now, I get it. Life didn't turn out the way you would have preferred. You wanted to be the starting quarterback for the Broncos. Instead, you perform a mundane task for a faceless corporation that underpays and under-appreciates your real talent - emblazoning an inanimate object with marketing material. You can follow a theme, for sure. Some folks see a 17 year old station wagon. You see a rolling monument to Bernie Kosar. Some folks see a cubicle in a sea of cubicles. You see the Jim "Catfish" Hunter museum.

Part of me envies you. I wish I could get so into something over which I had no control, that I could just let go and lose myself in the moment. I wish I could spend endless weekend hours devouring lobster pots full of Doritos and washing them down with the amount of beer used to fill Michael Phelps' practice pool. For that, my hat is off to you. I just don't know which logo should be on that hat. 

Also on Web Toon now... (to force me to be organized)

Not a lot of people look at this blog, but all of you are the best. I heard a bunch of comic-liking folk (a.k.a. weirdos) were hanging out at Web Toon. And they let me just create a free place to put stuff. Blogger doesn't have a comic template, so let's see if Web Toon can get some eyes on the stuff.

What do you feel like eating?

Daddy, what does pee taste like?

They don't have babies. They have dogs.

I don't want old bubbles. I want new bubbles.


Dirty dishes strip club
I dream of diaper genie
Mount Dirty Dishes
Bathtub Toy store

Drawing blog called Junk Drawer - Checked availability of, but some other clever bloke has dibs.

Hugh Laurie is pretty bald on the back of his head. Noticed that while watching the 2nd episode of The Night Manager on AMC. The guy who plays Loki in the Avengers movies is the main character. Anyway. Pretty good so far.

April 28, 2016

Go Dean Haspiel!

Hey Turd (part 2)

Billy: 😮 Hey Turd!
Turd: 😠 Don't call me Turd, fucker!
Billy: 😕 Okay, relax.
Turd: 😤 Ok then
Billy: 😃 Okay Turd!
Turd: 😭

Sent via the Samsung GALAXY S® 5, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

Hey Turd

(Billy and Turd) 
:) - Hey Turd
:( - Hey
:) - Watcha doin'?
:( - Nothin 
(Enter Joe) 
:| - 'sup douches? 
:) - 'sup Joe?
:( - Hey Joe
:| - Tuuuuurd!!!

April 27, 2016

Jim Thompson: The Killer Inside Me

I'm putting this here so I don't forget about it.

Trash Girl

April 26, 2016

Trump fans demand to know what collusion means and why Cruz/Kasich are doing it to their guy

7 ways to convince people you're in shape.

1. Steer as many conversations as possible back to a jumping jacks metaphor.  
2. Give new Ironman movie a poor review because you thought it was about running. 
3. Eat tuna straight from the can, preferably with pocket knife.
4. Numerical bumper stickers with decimal points 
5. Proclaim you could do 1,000 push ups, but don't want to right now. 
6. Memorize the protein content of several different types of beans. 
7. Dress for work as if your cubicle is at the summit of Everest. 

More Unanswered questions

Did the C.I.A. train an eagle to shoot JFK then fly away? 

Can chimpanzees see all the colored panels on a beach ball? 

Is the popular film Edward Scissorhands loosely based on the life of Henry Kissinger? 

Did Gandhi have the normal amount of toes?

The question keeps coming up of whether or not Mahatma Gandhi had the normal number of toes on each foot. Science has concluded that the average adult male has no more and no less than 5 toes on each foot. The attached photo, I believe, puts to rest any suggestion that Gandhi had anything but the normal number of toes. Of course, the level of public discourse on the internet these days will likely not allow this clear evidence to silence all doubters. I can only hope that I’ve done my part to dissuade those who would besmirch the character of perhaps the 20th century’s most revered purveyor of peace.

Did Emperor Hirohito Ever See The Band Boston In Concert?

Answer: Possible, but not likely. (2% probability)

World War 2 Leaders Lifespan vs. War Span

Key observations:

·       Hitler had the shortest life of all

·       Both Asian leaders lived to be 88

·       Churchill was the oldest when the war started (65)

·       Hirohito was the youngest when the war started (38)

·       Hirohito lived nearly to 1990, so he would have been able to play video games and watch MTV.

·       Hitler, Roosevelt and Mussolini did not survive the war


Lifespan of the Impressionists vs. American Civil War Span

It's interesting that while Americans were killing each other by the thousands, these French painters were mostly in their early 20s and painting landscapes, ballet dancers and the like. Imagine the social media implications if this happened today.

Tennessee just holding large pot farm for friend Arkansas

April 25, 2016

Hands for Reference

Make Your Own Sketchbook

World's 2nd best assassin waiting by the phone

Dozens of novels and television dramas begin with the world's top assassin being hired for the job du jour. Meanwhile,  the world's 2nd most dangerous assassin sits by his telephone eating potato chips and binge watching Netflix. 

moleskine recreates game of thrones opening sequence with 7600 paper cutouts

moleskine recreates game of thrones opening sequence with 7600 paper cutouts

Sent via the Samsung GALAXY S® 5, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

Links to Comics

Poorly Drawn Lines
Cyanide and Happiness
Pie Comic

How Long Animals Live