April 29, 2016
April 28, 2016
Turd: 😠 Don't call me Turd, fucker!
Billy: 😕 Okay, relax.
Turd: 😤 Ok then
Billy: 😃 Okay Turd!
April 27, 2016
April 26, 2016
The question keeps coming up of whether or not Mahatma Gandhi had the normal number of toes on each foot. Science has concluded that the average adult male has no more and no less than 5 toes on each foot. The attached photo, I believe, puts to rest any suggestion that Gandhi had anything but the normal number of toes. Of course, the level of public discourse on the internet these days will likely not allow this clear evidence to silence all doubters. I can only hope that I’ve done my part to dissuade those who would besmirch the character of perhaps the 20th century’s most revered purveyor of peace.
· Hitler had the shortest life of all
· Both Asian leaders lived to be 88
· Churchill was the oldest when the war started (65)
· Hirohito was the youngest when the war started (38)
· Hirohito lived nearly to 1990, so he would have been able to play video games and watch MTV.
· Hitler, Roosevelt and Mussolini did not survive the war
April 25, 2016
April 19, 2016
April 14, 2016
April 12, 2016
My beautiful wife April got me this set of Field Notes notebooks (http://fieldnotesbrand.com/colors/workshop/) for Christmas. One book is supposed to be used for electrical stuff. So, here’s my first drawing in that notebook. I have a very OCD dream of one day having completed this entire set with similar diagrams and such. We’ll see how that goes. Consider this the first brick in the wall.
April 8, 2016
April 6, 2016
April 1, 2016
There are a few webcomics I try and read every day. First, I went to Poorly Drawn Lines (http://pdlcomics.tumblr.com/). Then I went to Pie Comic (http://piecomic.tumblr.com/) and found the same comic. Finally, Cyanide and Happiness (http://explosm.net/) followed in kind. So, I've added my contribution. I can only hope to get the kind of readership those guys enjoy. I guess first I need to provide the same quality content. Well, I'm working on it. : )
March 30, 2016
March 29, 2016
March 22, 2016
March 11, 2016
Asked about the four door Chevy Malibu, front desk security guard Janet Mix had no idea who drove it to work today, but offered to ask around if anyone else saw. "I got here at 7:00 this morning, but I don't keep an eye on the security cameras every moment of the day," Mix explained. "I mean, the phone rings every couple of minutes and I can't do everything, so I don't know what you expect me to do. I'll be happy to make an announcement over the intercom once someone figures out what I should say."
A group of three employees who entered while Wainwright was ranting and raving, clustered around the time clock, not sure whether to go ahead and clock in or wait to see if some wicked shit was about to break out. "If that old dude blows a gasket, I want to be here to see it," IT analyst Meredith Carlson said. Asked about Wainwright's mental stability, one man described him as a "crusty old fucker who bitches about stuff all the time, like who keeps messing up the industry magazines in the visitor's waiting area". Other employees discounted the man's characterization of Wainwright, stating that he hasn't worked there for very long, so what the fuck does he know about anything.
"You never know when he's gonna do something like that," said long-time team member Praveen Singh. "Sometimes he does it just to make sure we're paying attention. Kind of like a drill or something."
Documents gathered as a result of a Freedom of Information request revealed that the last time Cook's iPhone was below 50% battery life was in October 2013 when charging team members became so engrossed in a platter of fried crab claws left over from a productivity update meeting that they lost all track of time. "Rest assured, we all learned our lesson that day," admitted a team member on condition of anonymity.
March 9, 2016
Little Rock millennial Mason Phlump became an approved Uber driver in January of 2016, and quickly began earning extra cash in his 2010 Toyota Prius. On February 17th, after dropping acid in an Arby's parking lot, Phlump Uber'd himself just to see what would happen. "I was tripping balls, no question," Phlump admitted. "But, you know, YOLO. So, I was completely unprepared for what happened next...I must have screwed up something in the space-time continuum because a long rip appeared in mid air about 10 inches from my face. At first I thought it was part of the wicked trip I was having, but then I kept dropping things into it, like my sneak-a-toke pipe and a dog-eared copy of Pygmalion." Several calls were made to the Physics department of a nearby university, but no response has been received. Meanwhile, Phlump was last seen crouching behind a dumpster and speaking Klingon to a stray cat.